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For people that have experienced a distressing event at some stage in their life, suppressing the experience can often feel like the only way forward.

But this self-defense mechanism could do more harm than good over the long run.

That’s why acknowledging and processing a traumatic life event is crucial. To learn how, we chatted to our resident trauma specialist, Teegan Kelly. As Teegan shares, with the right support, dealing with a trauma is possible – and can be liberating.

But first: what is trauma?

In a nutshell, trauma is the response to a distressing event that inhibits or affects us. A traumatic experience is one that threatens our safety or stability – causing physical, emotional and psychological stress.

Traumatic events aren’t always violent. And different people respond in different ways.

For example, a place, sound, smell or word might not be meaningful to one person. Yet this very same thing could be incredibly overwhelming – and triggering – to another.

Most people experience trauma during and straight after the incident. While for others, trauma is relived for months or even years.

Why do we avoid discussing or thinking about traumatic experiences?

As our psychologist Teegan highlights, ‘With trauma, especially childhood trauma, it’s common to try to pack it away and trod forward with life.’

Why? Because it can be difficult and painful, and avoiding it seems easier. It can feel like the only way to stay afloat – and not fall apart.

Add to this, societal pressures to be strong, ‘get over it’ and stay emotionally stable. It’s no wonder people try to avoid dealing with a trauma.

But this coping mechanism can create unwanted repercussions later.

The impacts of not processing a trauma

Despite what people might hope, ignoring a trauma doesn’t make it go away.

Like a physical wound that won’t heal without proper care, an unaddressed trauma also needs to be attended to so it doesn’t fester.

And when we don’t, the impacts can be immense. In particular, it can affect our relationships and our ability to trust others. This is because common characteristics of a traumatic experience include a violation of trust, sense of safety and control.

But did you know that trauma can also be inherited?

A study from the James J. Peters Veterans Affairs Medical Centre found children of Holocaust survivors inherited biological signs of trauma survival. The children developed a surplus of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, to compensate for their parents’ deficiency in it.

An unhealed trauma can also prevent us from engaging in activities we once loved. And at its worse, not processing a trauma can morph into something sinister: cycles of violence.

That’s why action is crucial.

By processing it, people avoid turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse. And they’ll potentially gain inner peace they might not have even known they needed.

The first step: acknowledging the signs

Processing a trauma starts with validating our symptoms as a response to trauma.

Below are some of the common signs that (if experienced in combination) might indicate a trauma is unresolved:

• Low mood or depression
• Irritable and easily frustrated
• Sleeplessness (or even nightmares)
• Feeling emotionally overwhelmed
• Chronic pain or digestive problems
• Flashbacks
• Lack of self identity
• Poor memory
• Anxiety and panic

The second step: seeking support  

Once an individual has acknowledged that their symptoms could be from unresolved trauma, the next step is processing it. Talking to someone is obviously helpful. But it can also be incredibly confronting.

So it’s important for people to take their time and do it in a way that best suits them.

We recommend individuals process trauma with a psychologist or counsellor, as they’re trained in supporting people through this and helping them cope.

When engaging a psychologist, it’s completely fine for individuals to indicate that there’s been a trauma, but they are not ready to talk about it. This way, the psychologist will know why the individual is there. And they’ll wait for the right time to raise it… safely.

When it comes to trauma-specific therapies, one of the most effective treatments is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). This involves an individual briefly focusing on the traumatic memory while simultaneously moving their eyes in a rapid motion.

A psychologist might also employ schema therapy to explore earlier events. It depends on the individual and their situation.